


Without Eyes to See

by Umbr_el_on



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blind!Felix, Blindness, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sparring, its implied they've pined for years but this is the tail end of it, sort of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbr_el_on/pseuds/Umbr_el_on
Summary: For what feels like forever, all Felix has known is training and fighting. Getting stronger, sparring, battling, rinse and repeat. Even now, in the months following Edelgard’s defeat, rebellions needing suppressing and villages needing protecting are everywhere. But when a dirty move from an Imperial mage leaves him blind, what does Felix has left to press on for?





	1. The Incident

It should have been a routine battle.

It was just a rebellion near Charon by some Imperial loyalist who still, somehow, hadn’t gotten the message that they were thoroughly beat. It had been almost five months since Edelgard kicked the bucket, yet they were still fighting. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal; in fact, only Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, and Mercedes went. And it was going completely fine, as routine as ever, until a desperate mage decided to pull a dirty trick.

Felix was poised to strike the mage down, one of the last opponents standing, but by some terrible misfortune, they were quicker than him. The man’s fingertips glowed a sick purple for only an instant, and before Felix could register the impending attack, he felt a burn across his face. His vision went with the hit, and he stumbled back from the blow. He knew enough to recognize he couldn’t fight what he couldn’t see. Once he regained his footing, he switched to holding his blade more defensively and tried to listen in to his surroundings. 

He heard someone else pick up the fight with the mage over the fading sounds of other conflicts, and a set of hands gripped his shoulders and guided him to sit down. Felix started to struggle against the pressure, but almost as soon as he started to squirm a familiar voice eased him.

“It’s just me, Felix. We got them. Mercedes is on her way to patch you up.” Sylvain spoke evenly, continuing to press on Felix to get him to sit.

Felix obliged with a huff, the pain on his face still present but duller. He wondered how bad it really was, given that it had hurt a lot more than a normal spell should have. Before he could linger on that train of thought for long, he felt a cooling tingle on his skin. No matter how many times he felt it, the feeling of healing spells never got any less weird.

After a moment of quiet with Sylvain sitting next to him and Mercedes working her magic on Felix, the silence was broken. “There! How do you feel, Felix?” Mercedes sounded as chipper as ever, and Felix could practically hear the smile on her face.

Felix blinked a few times, his vision still not coming back to him. It was then that he noticed that something about his lack of vision was… different. “What about my eyes?”

The relieved mood of the trio broke with Felix’s question, and the lack of answers got on his nerves. With significantly more force, he reiterated his question. “Can we fix up my eyes, please? I can’t see.”

Sylvain shifted next to him. “What about them, Felix? They look completely fine.” Worry dripped off Sylvain’s words, but his statement was quickly followed up.

“It’s probably just going to take a little bit for your sight to come back. You got hit pretty hard, by magic and otherwise. How about we head back, and you get some food and rest?” Mercedes spoke much more coolly than Sylvain had, clearly less bothered by the situation.

“I don’t see anything we need to take back to His Highness. Shall we return to the monastery?” Dedue approached the trio on the ground, remaining standing and unaware of the situation.

Sylvain and Mercedes both stood, and Felix did the same with a little more effort. To his irritation, he felt off-balance. The absolute lack of any points of reference was making him feel like everything was moving around him. Maybe he just got more of a whack to his head than he realized?

Once again interrupted from his thought, he felt an arm tossed around his shoulders. The added weight and pressure made Felix’s feeling of unsteadiness worsen, and his steps forward with Sylvain were more like stumbles. “I’ve got you, Felix, just hang on to me and take it easy. We’ll be back and chowing down on dinner in no time.”

With a groan, Felix shrugged Sylvain off and cut him down with his voice. “I can walk by myself.”

Before anyone could protest, he shrugged Sylvain off and started walking forwards more aggressively. To his chagrin, he was struggling to walk straight was tripped himself up over anything and everything. As difficult as it was to watch, his companions knew better than to press the issue further. Along the way, Mercedes and Sylvain filled Dedue in with the little information they had.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Even after several hours of walking, talking, and eating dinner, Felix wasn’t seeing any better than when they left. Perhaps just as irritating was Sylvain, who seemed utterly determined to babysit him. He hadn’t gotten a moment away from the red-haired idiot since they stepped into the monastery, but even worse was the fact he didn’t actually mind it. Old feelings he’d rather have kept tucked away fluttered through Felix’s chest every time Sylvain took a gentle hold on his arm to guide him.

“I think it’s about time we get you that rest the doctor ordered, yeah?” Sylvain spoke through a mouth full of his third helping of food, and Felix was actually thankful he couldn’t see his companion’s horrible table manners.

“Please. I’ve had enough chattering and pity.” Without waiting for a reply, Felix stood up and turned around to walk out of the dining hall.

He didn’t have any issues bumping into anyone, because Mercedes made a point to let everyone know Felix couldn’t see and to give him space. Felix was pretty sure she was fussing so much because she was treating him like she would her brother, but he didn’t have it in him to snap at her about it right now.

Despite having the way cleared for him, Felix still felt Sylvain take a grip of his arm. Just like with Mercedes, he was tempted to bark at him to back off to let the twisting in his stomach settle, but the words just never came out. He really needed some rest, and he really needed to be able to see. He would tell them off later, when things settled down again.

The pair walked in silence, which was an unusual treat. Usually, Sylvain couldn’t pipe down, but today, he was giving off an air of focus. Whatever he was thinking about, it had quite a hold on him. With Sylvain’s effort, the walk back to Felix’s room went smoothly and only took a few minutes. It would be a lie for Felix to say he didn’t appreciate the help at least a little, and it would also be false to say he didn’t miss Sylvain’s hand when it pulled away.

Sylvain opened up the door and carefully pushed Felix inside. Felix just stood still, waiting to Sylvain to shut the door and leave. He didn’t do so. The tension got to Felix, and the words he couldn’t find earlier bubbled out now.

“What do you want?”

“Do you, uh, need any help?”

“No. Goodnight.”

“Gotcha, okay. Uh, goodnight.”

Sylvain lingered a little bit after saying farewell but relented and closed the door as he backed out. With a sigh of relief, Felix started to prepare for bed. Meanwhile, Sylvain still lingered a few steps from Felix’s door.

Though Felix’s little snap at him was more like the swordsman’s usual self, Sylvain still couldn’t shake away his concern. He trusted that Mercedes knew what she was talking about, but the nagging voice in his mind refused to silence. As much as he hated it, he was considering the worst. If Felix really couldn’t see anything, he wasn’t going to take it well. What he could do to help, Sylvain had no idea, but he was not about to sit and watch if things went south. Still carrying determination, Sylvain made his way to his own room to get some rest and reflect on the day’s events.

Back in Felix’s room, it was a little bit more difficult than he expected it would be to get to bed, but the familiarity of the small space made it easier for him to work off of memory. He managed to haphazardly drag a brush through his hair and place his clothes into their hamper. Once satisfied with his work, Felix felt his way over to his bed and settled in. Even closing his eyes didn’t seem right, but Felix violently shoved those thoughts away, willing himself to sleep and to wake up tomorrow right as rain. He didn’t want to humor the other possibility, nor did he want to think about the fact he still felt Sylvain’s hand on his arm.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Felix was forced into waking by strong knocking on his door. It took him a second to gain some sense of awareness, and when he did, he heard a voice speaking in addition to the knocking. Before he paid the voice any attention, he was faced with a continued lack of visual input. The realization left him numb, the sounds from the door fading into something that felt much too far away.

Felix didn’t notice when the door was finally opened, a worry-sick Sylvain rushing in. Any other day, Felix would have smacked him for barging in, but today the intrusion was met with absolutely nothing. Even when Sylvain was hovering over him, Felix didn’t react. This was the most distressing thing he could have done, and Sylvain made that known.

“Come on Felix, you’re fucking around, right? You’re good? Please tell me you’re fine.” More footsteps entered the room, but Felix couldn’t count how many.

“We were looking everywhere for you! You’re never holed up this late. It’s almost time for lunch!” Annette sounded irritated, like a parent scolding their child for scaring them by coming home late; angry with concern and care.

More shuffling occurred around him, and a soft gasp caught Felix’s attention. “O-oh…” It was Mercedes, studying Felix’s face.

“Oh what?” Dimitri. Exactly who Felix couldn’t stand to have see him like this. 

A heavy silence filled the air where the question lingered. Everyone could guess the answer but speaking it aloud would make it real. It was a reality no one wanted, but everyone was part of. A soft swish of fabric was the only warning Felix got before a hand pressed into the bed near his face, suggesting someone leaning over him. They stayed for only a moment before the weight was gone.

“Is it any different than yesterday, Felix?” Mercedes tried to keep her voice positive, but she was not tricking anyone.

It was plain to see the clouding in Felix’s eyes. Their usually rich brown was faded with uneven greyness. It was not unlike what one would see in the eyes of the elderly as their vision fizzled away. If studied closely enough, flecks of deep purple matching the spell’s color were embedded in Felix’s eyes, too.

Felix was terrified of his voice breaking if he tried to speak, so he shook his head instead. He felt his numbness in his mind receding away, anger taking its place. He needed to move, and to get away from being so crowded. Sitting up, Felix swung his legs over the side of the bed, knocking into a few people’s legs. That’s what they got for crowding his room. He didn’t wait for space to clear before he was on his feet.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” Ingrid called out sternly, but Felix was already out the door.

He knew the walk from his room to the training grounds well enough to manage it without his eyes, and the scowl fixed on his face and predatory spring his step kept anyone from daring to get in his way. Almost instinctually, Felix pushed open the door and reached for one of the wooden swords on the wall. When the door swung shut behind him, Felix stopped to listen.

When he was sure no one else was still lingering around, he yelled.

The sound was raw and pained, making Felix’s not yet healed throat ache from exertion. Needing more ways to seethe, Felix swung the training sword with all his might. He expected to be standing near a training dummy as intended, but there was nothing there. He realized his mistake when he heard the blade whistle through the air a split second too long.

The rest of the Blue Lions walked in just in time to see Felix swing a sword full force into nothing, throwing his balance off and causing him to fall over. His yell of anger turned into a cry of surprise as he hit the ground. He didn’t miss a beat though, sitting up and smacking the sword into the ground, splintering it with another shout.

“What do you want?” Felix barked out between coughs, the dust irritating his throat as he scrambled back onto his feet.

“We want to help you, Felix, I know this must be hard for you to-“ Dimitri’s motivational speech was cut short by a growl.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, boar. Get out of here before I use you for practice.” Felix swung his sword again with the intention of whacking the Prince, but there was hesitation and unsteadiness behind the action. He was also a good three feet away from the house leader.

Before Felix could try to take another swing, the sword was wrested from his hands. “You should still be resting.” Mercedes scolded, snatching Felix by the wrist with an iron grip.

Felix was so taken aback by the display of force from the usually soft-spoken woman that he obliged, stumbling along behind her. He was still seething and scowling, but he knew he’d be alone again sooner if he entertained his peers now.

Being drug along by an angry mage made the walk back more difficult, with Felix tripping over himself often and growing more upset each time. After what felt like the 100th time of him tripping and cursing, the rhythm of the journey was disrupted.

“We don’t need him rolling an ankle, let me help.” Sylvain took a considerably kinder grip on Felix’s upper arm, and Mercedes relented and let go.

Frustrating as it was to acknowledge, Sylvain was the only one Felix was finding tolerable at the moment. He took a small measure of comfort from Sylvain’s touch, and the taller Lion’s pace was much more accommodating to what Felix could comfortably do. With the smoother progress, they made it back to Felix’s room almost as quickly as Felix had managed to leave it.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It had been a bit over a week since the incident, and not a lot had changed. Felix still couldn’t see, his sleep schedule had fallen apart, and his teammates were at a loss with what to do. Almost all of them had been popping in to check on him, but a few had stopped by more than others. Namely Sylvain, who had come and fussed over Felix at least twice every day. They’d probably spent more time one on one in the last week than they had since everyone reunited over a year ago.

Sylvain had been more than happy to initiate the hangouts and was overjoyed by how relatively well-received they had been. He would take any excuse to spend time with Felix, and spending time with him while being able to help him was an added bonus.

He’d been interested in Felix since their early days at the Academy, but it wasn’t until recently that Sylvain began to question if Felix also had an interest in men. It wasn’t a secret that he’d turned down several women’s invitations over the years, and other possible reasons why started to stretch thin after so many years of it. He tried not to dwell on it too long, but it was getting harder to ignore his feelings when he was spending so much time around the cause of them.

The last three days, Sylvain had actually taken Felix to the training grounds to try and help him adjust to fighting blind. They hadn’t made much progress, but the effort was touching. The physical contact brought along by training had also been a nice distraction for Felix and a welcome change for Sylvain. Neither of them would admit to why they had been so thrilled with their training time, but the rest of the Blue Lions didn’t have to take too many guesses to catch on.

Admittedly, the shock of everything had made Felix a little less caught up in himself. If he enjoyed Sylvain’s company, then damn it, he enjoyed it. He’d always had an inkling he felt more than friendship for Sylvain, but he managed to store those feelings away until the distractions of war and training had been taken away and left him an unfortunate amount of time to think and reflect. At least he wouldn’t get caught staring anymore.

“I think that’s enough for today, you look like you can hardly stand. It’s almost sunset, too.” Sylvain panted, taking a patient grasp on Felix’s sword to take it as usual.

Felix shook his head, wiping sweat from his forehead that collected under his bangs. “One more round.”

The hand on the sword left, and Sylvain readied himself anew. “Alright, go for it. I won’t be easy on you.”

“I expect nothing else.”

Felix moved as quickly as he could, willing his tired muscles to act with force and speed. He felt his hit land on Sylvain’s side, but the redhead moved with the blow and left Felix without a target. That had been the worst thing so far; he could hear and feel them move, but he couldn’t tell where.

Felix reset his sword, poised to strike again, and listened. He and Sylvain had been exercising his hearing, hoping to compensate his lost sense with another one. He was able to pinpoint where Sylvain was coming from but turning around meant getting a lance prodded into his stomach instead of his back.

The sudden pressure knocked the wind out of Felix, but he pressed on. His next hit was weak enough that Sylvain didn’t step away. He swung his lance down at Felix’s thighs, knocking the smaller man over. Felix groaned in frustration as he hit the ground, but he should have known better than to let his annoyance slow him down.

Before Felix could attempt to stand, Sylvain was on top of him. He pinned Felix down with his knees and grabbed his arms, pushing them into the dusty floor. Felix tried to wiggle himself out, but his reaction was too late. Another groan escaped Felix, but he stilled. He knew Sylvain had him beat on raw strength, and speed wasn’t much of an asset when you couldn’t move.

He was waiting for Sylvain to quip about his victory, or to let him up and head to clean off, but neither of those things happened. Sylvain stayed quietly on top of him, and Felix could feel Sylvain’s breath on his face. The sensation made his stomach flip, and his face started to feel hot. He wondered how long they had been there, silent and gloriously trapped in the moment.

“Can I… kiss you?” The whisper was so quiet that Felix would have missed it, if the room wasn’t quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

Felix swallowed thickly, mulling over the moment in his mind. He’d certainly pictured situations like this one before, but he’d never considered it actually happening. He swore he could feel Sylvain’s hands trembling, and he felt proud he was having such an effect. Emboldened by his influence, Felix gave a firm nod. Clearly, Sylvain was curious too, so they didn’t have anything to lose if they were trying it mutually.

Almost as soon as he nodded, Felix felt Sylvain’s lips brush against his. The movement was soft and gentle with a hint of uncertainty, just a brush that was over far too soon. Sylvain started to pull back to consider the turn of events and avoid pushing Felix too far, but he didn’t make it far before Felix craned his neck and pressed his lips into Sylvain’s, harder than the previous kiss.

This time, Sylvain embraced the interaction. Both of their lips were rough, their care being a very low priority in the last several months, but neither of them minded. They couldn’t have been lip-locked for more than a few seconds when they heard the door to the training grounds pushed open. They jumped out of their skin, and Felix groaned as the action caused Sylvain’s knees to dig into his stomach.

Poor Ashe stood flabbergasted in the doorway, his mouth hanging open and clearly reeling. “I… Uh, s-sorry…?”

Sylvain laughed awkwardly, scrambling off of Felix. Instinctively, he leaned down to guide Felix up as soon as he was steady. Felix also rushed to his feet, face a blotchy red and expression a mix of elation and frustration. Ashe kept opening and closing his mouth without anything coming out.

“No worries, we were just leaving. The place is all yours.” Sylvain flashed the archer a fake confident smile and waved as he quickly led Felix along.

Ashe just stepped aside as the pair passed, some excitement creeping into his expression. The class had been taken bets on how long it was going to take for the tension to snap, but they had beat even the shortest time, with Annette’s guess at one month. It was about time; they’d been into each other for years; it was amazing it took them this long to realize they were holding out for nothing.

Once the duo was far enough away from Ashe, Sylvain let out a light but unrestrained laugh. The sound made Felix smile ever so slightly, and he scoffed in what Sylvain knew was his kind of laughter. With practiced ease, the pair walked to Felix’s room and flopped down onto Felix’s bed as they’d done many times in the past.

“Are we going to discuss that, or act like it didn’t happen?” Felix tried to sound sharp, but a shake in his voice betrayed his insecurity.

“I mean, I’d rather just do that again some time, but what would you prefer?” Sylvain retorted.

Felix was taken aback by the answer, not used to being directly on the receiving end of Sylvain’s bold behavior. A chuckle from Sylvain told him that he must have looked ridiculous. Felix mumbled something that sounded vaguely like ‘shut up,’ but it just made Sylvain chuckle again. Felix cleared his throat to regain his composure and his companion’s attention.

“I suppose I didn’t mind it, but I’d prefer not to have an audience.” Felix rolled from his side to his back, appreciating the sensation of his muscles softening into the plush surface.

“I agree with you on that. Ashe looked about ready to turn and run.” Sylvain scooted closer to Felix, leaving enough room to let the action be reciprocated if desired.

Felix contemplated for a second before he took up the opportunity, pressing his arm against Sylvain’s chest and tilting his head closer to Sylvain’s neck. They laid there in content silence, enjoying the company and the comfort of the mattress after training.

Sylvain thought about what he should do. If this was a normal date with a normal partner, he’d be cracking some kind of joke, trying to snag more kisses, or nodding off. Instead, he was lying beside his best friend, possibly more, and found himself without words and without a need to find any. This was a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in years and was the sweetest silence he’d ever heard.

Felix, on the other hand, was practically buzzing. He hadn’t felt so much emotion since he lost his brother, and that had been the complete opposite of now. He wanted to ask what had just happened, pry Sylvain to say what that kiss meant for him, for them, but he couldn’t seem to start from anywhere. He’d never been good with his feelings, and his mind was too scrambled to try and start now.

“What now?” Felix blurted out, giving up on trying to find a better way to express himself.

Sylvain reflected for a moment before replying. “I’m not sure. It depends on what you want.”

Felix huffed. “Is this why its taken so long for this to happen?”

Felix put a hand over his mouth as soon as he spoke. He could hear Sylvain stop breathing, leaving him with nothing else to go off of. He felt a twinge of anger that he couldn’t just look at Sylvain’s face to read the situation.

If he could have seen Sylvain, he’d have seen a bright smile and faintly pink cheeks. “I guess so. At least I have an excuse, but you’re usually pretty straight to the point. I must really trip you up, huh?”

Felix rolled his eyes and glared in Sylvain’s general direction. “Very funny. I just didn’t want to be distracted.”

Sylvain steeled himself before opting for a little vulnerability. “Well, if you decide you’d like a distraction now that the war is over, I’d be honored to offer you my service. I wouldn’t want to give it to anyone else.”

Felix took a deep breath, continuing to feel almost overwhelmed by positive emotions and the heat in his face. “I would appreciate that. You’re the best at distracting me anyway. Have been for years.”

A few seconds after his confession, Felix felt Sylvain hovering over him. Sylvain was close enough he could have easily closed the gap between their mouths, but he waited. An invitation, open and vulnerable. Felix let the moment linger, enjoying Sylvain’s breath on his lips, before he acted.

Felix gladly accepted the invitation, and this kiss was more confident and comfortable than those from the training grounds. It still remained brief, but neither of the participants minded. There would be time for more of it later.

After a while longer of laying side by side and stealing occasional kisses on cheeks, hair, and lips, Sylvain sat up sighing. “It’s about time to try and get some sleep. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” Sylvain usually swung by to get Felix for breakfast, since Felix was still getting his biological clock back in tune.

“You will. It would be really easy to see me in the morning if you stayed for the night.” Felix tried to copy Sylvain’s suave delivery for once, but it just sounded like mockery. At least Sylvain knew Felix well enough to understand the intent in spite of the execution.

It was a bold invitation, but Felix was not one to waste time. Clearly, they had both felt this way for a while, and clearly, they already knew each other exceedingly well. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time they’d shared a bed either. It would just be the first time they’d shared one like this, but Felix wanted to take that step. He was scared if they didn’t, they might wake up tomorrow and everything that had happened would feel like a distant dream. He needed this to stick.

Sylvain froze where he sat, legs over the bed and feet flat on the floor. It was his turn to blush a red even deeper than the shade of his hair, and this time, it was Felix’s turn to let out a laugh as light and unrestrained as ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/el__ubert) ✨💕


	2. The Fallout

When Sylvain woke up the next morning, it was with his nose in Felix’s hair, the smaller man curled into him. His initial surprise was washed away when the interactions of the previous night flooded back again, and a light pink dusted his cheeks when he remembered how bluntly Felix had asked him to stay. The bluntness wasn’t surprising as much as the content of the message had been, but it was something Sylvain knew he’d gladly get used to.

Sylvain was pulled out of his head by Felix stirring beside him. A sleepy groan slipped from Felix’s throat, and Sylvain couldn’t hold back a small chuckle. The sound must have alarmed Felix, who quickly propped himself up on his arm.

“It’s me.” Sylvain whispered simply, aiming to keep Felix from getting himself worked up.

The plan worked, and Felix visibly softened at the familiar voice. “So that wasn’t a dream.”

“No, but it felt like one.”

Felix scoffed at the redhead’s taunt, but a smile still tugged at the edges of his mouth as Sylvain pecked Felix on the cheek. Felix’s smile fell away, however, and was replaced by a look of irritation.

“I wish I could see you right now.”

The words hung heavily in the air, and Sylvain really wasn’t sure what to say. He obviously knew Felix was struggling to adjust, but he hadn’t considered this aspect of it yet. He’d been so focused on the big picture of getting around the monastery and self-defense that he didn’t put much brain power towards the more personal challenges facing his companion.

Still frustrated, Felix sat up and rubbed his eyes, as though he could rub the magic out of his eyes like one would wipe away lingering weariness. When he finished, he didn’t pick his head up, instead settling it more comfortably in his hands. Still uncertain, Sylvain put his hand on Felix’s back and rubbed small, gentle circles. The action was met with slight but noticeable stiffening.

“You don’t need to coddle me.” Felix sighed.

“Well then what do you want me to do?” Both men were surprised by the tenderness in the question. Sylvain intended to be firmer, but he just didn’t have it in him to talk like that right now.

A contemplative look appeared for a moment before Felix offered his reply. “Can I touch your face?”

“Uh…” Clearly not a response Sylvain expected.

Felix rolled his eyes. “If I can’t actually see it, I can at least try to visualize it.”

Sylvain nodded, before mentally kicking himself for not considering this as an option for Felix to work with. “That makes sense. Should I, uh, lay down or something?”

Felix shrugged, a hand already on Sylvain’s arm. Felix’s fingers glided up to Sylvain’s shoulder, feeling the muscles along the way as much as possible without being too obvious. Felix’s fingers then danced over Sylvain’s collarbones, eliciting a shudder from the redhead. 

Felix smirked at the reaction, moving his fingers back over the same spot. He got the same reaction and made a mental note of that bit of information in case it’d be useful later. He really did want to feel Sylvain’s face though, so he made quick work moving up the neck.

It was probably one of the oddest interactions Sylvain had ever had. Felix stayed quiet, brows furrowed in concentration and the purple flecks in his eyes standing out brightly, pulsing against the amber as he tried to take in as many details of Sylvain as he could. He knew what Sylvain looked like of course, but it was still different to feel it rather than see it.

Sylvain’s skin was rougher than it looked, marred by countless little scars he’d collected from years of fighting. Conversely, the tip of Sylvain’s nose felt more rounded than Felix had expected. His lips were also full, but still retained the roughness Felix had felt during their kiss. He could also feel the warmth of the others face, but he couldn’t tell if it was a blush or just from waking up. Felix hummed in discontentment and pulled his hand away.

“All done?” A tinge of disappointment was detectable in Sylvain’s inquiry.

“Yes. It’s messing with my mental picture of you.” Felix huffed, a frantic expression flashing across his face.

Felix shook his head, wanting to push away the sensations he just felt. They took away from the clarity of his memory of Sylvain’s face. He wanted to cling to those mental images, not distort them. They were all he had left to go off of, and the thought of losing that one more thing just hurt.

Sylvain watched the turmoil on Felix’s face while his own was painted confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

Felix felt a twinge of guilt. Sylvain sounded a bit like a kicked puppy, but Felix wasn’t especially gifted at handling that. “No. We should probably get up.” Words to offer more comfort died on their way from Felix’s brain to his tongue, but the message from his brain to his body to start climbing over Sylvain went through.

Sylvain laid still as Felix climbed over him, agitated and a little hurt. He ran a hand through his hair after Felix had moved away, as though he could pull some idea to help out of the messy strands. Though Felix couldn’t see the action, he could sense the shift in mood. He continued getting dressed, unsure of how to manage the change.

“I’m just worried about you, okay? I wish I could fix this for you, bu-“

“But you can’t. No one can and pretending or wishing this could be fixed is a waste.” Felix dulls the tone on his words, speaking more plainly in hopes of preventing further damage to Sylvain’s current emotional state.

Sylvain stays quiet, and the only sound Felix gets is the rustling of the sheets. A second later, a rustling of different fabric occupies the room as Sylvain gets dressed. Felix finds himself unusually uncomfortable in the silence between him and Sylvain. His face says as much, which finally pulls a response out of Sylvain.

“I know, Felix. I know it’s a waste, but that doesn’t mean I can just… shut it off. As much as I wish I could ignore it, I’m going through this in my own way, too. Please try to remember that.” Sylvain chooses his tone carefully, trying his best to convey how he feels without giving the impression of making the situation about himself.

Knowing Felix would either snap at him again or fall totally silent in response to the raw emotion in his words, Sylvain exited the room. The hallway was quiet, and the low light suggested it was still pretty early. Felix could be heard getting up and moving around his room, but Sylvain decided they needed a little bit of space. Before the Duke could step out behind him, Sylvain made his way to the stairs and down to the courtyard. This area was empty as well, but Sylvain enjoyed the time alone.

Aimlessly, he wandered along in the general direction of the fishing pond, unaware that Dimitri was already there himself. Watching the creatures in the pond always seemed to calm him down, something he could really stand for at the moment. He contemplated going back to make sure what he said hadn’t upset Felix before taking time for himself, but he knew better than to do that. Felix would find him when he was ready, like he always did. Sylvain just hoped he’d be ready too.

Once he got close to the pond, Sylvain noticed some messy blond hair already sitting at the end of the dock. He turned to leave and find somewhere else to collect himself, but it was too late. He should have known better than to be stomping around with his head in the clouds.

“Sylvain, it’s unusual to see you out so early. Care to join me? The turtles are always quite lively this time of morning.” Dimitri didn’t turn around, but his voice rang out clear anyway.

“S-sure, I’m not up to anything else.” Sylvain stumbled over his words a bit, and Dimitri most certainly took note of the unusual misstep of his friend’s words. Dimitri suspected they’d be discussing more than the turtles in the pond.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back in the room, Felix was finishing up getting ready for the day. His movements were driven by a mix of anger, hurt, and concern. Sylvain’s words had cut him in several ways, none of them good, and the redhead’s exit was unexpected. Felix almost called out after him, but he caught his tongue before he could embarrass himself.

“Damn it, Sylvain…” Felix breathed to himself instead, fixing his hair into a cleaner ponytail than the rat’s nest the previous one had become in his sleep.

He patted around for a second to feel for any bumps or missed hairs and was pleased to find none. Careful to avoid anything that may have found its way onto the floor, Felix found the handle to the door. He turned and pushed, debating where he wanted to go spend his time.

Unsurprisingly, his immediate decision was to go to the training grounds. He guessed by the coolness of the air that the day was young, and therefore the training grounds were likely empty. He grew more confident in his assessments in the silence of the courtyard and the dampness of the grass.

When Felix entered the training grounds, he felt a little saddened. He hadn’t been here alone since Sylvain had taken to training with him, and just a week of that was enough to take what was once his form of self-care and turn it into a lonely affair. With a sigh, Felix grabbed a training sword from the rack, but his enthusiasm was considerably diminished.

As he always did, Felix started off with some gentle swings in various directions to loosen up. Unlike always, his movements lacked the fire he was known for. He felt sloppy, lazy, and unlike himself. Try as he might, however, his annoyance at his feelings was only worsening his actions.

On one particularly awkward swing, the sword flew from Felix’s grip, staying airborne for a second before landing with a thwack. Felix growled in frustration and took a few steps in the general direction the sword could have gone. Dropping to his knees, Felix started to feel around the dirt. At least no one as here to see him-

“You look like you could use some help.” A familiar female voice echoed in the training grounds, and Felix stiffened.

“Good morning to you too, Ingrid.” Felix grumbled through clenched teeth.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“You seem unusually quiet this morning, is everything alright?” Dimitri opened the option for Sylvain to speak with him but was careful not to push too hard and drive Sylvain away.

Unsure what he wanted to say, Sylvain simply shrugged. The movement was followed by an exhale, then an inhale as Sylvain decided he may as well speak about it. He at least knew Dimitri wouldn’t tease him and would perhaps even offer some well-meaning advice.

“It’s just Felix. You know how he can be…” Sylvain trailed off, watching Dimitri’s reaction to check if the swordsman was a sore topic today or not.

To Sylvain’s surprise, he was offered a very understanding look. “I do. I often wonder how we’ve put up with it so long, but here we are. What has he done now?”

“I’m not sure if it’s me or him, to be honest. I just want to help him, but every time I try to, it seems like it just annoys him sooner or later. Even letting him do what he asks for doesn’t work. I’m just… lost.” Sylvain stares at the softly glowing surface of the pond, disturbed by a ripple as a turtle takes to the surface.

“Perhaps help is not what he needs?” Dimitri suggests, but his implication flies right over Sylvain’s head.

“Well, what then? It’s not like I can just around and do nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

Sylvain opens his mouth to affirm that no, he can’t just sit idle, but he pauses. The pause leads to a dawning realization, earning a chuckle from Dimitri. Sylvain snaps his mouth closed, wondering just how stupid he looked a moment ago.

“I know you Sylvain, and I know how much you care about those you hold close. But I also know Felix has always struggled to accept such treatment. Just because your relationship has changed does not mean you must change the way you treat one another. In truth, I think changing your dynamic is the riskiest thing you could do.” Dimitri offers a warm smile to Sylvain, just enough to distract Sylvain from asking how he knew about the previous day’s development yet innocent enough to encourage trust.

Sylvain takes a moment to ponder Dimitri’s words. Irritatingly, the King is right, and his view makes sense. “What should I be doing, then? He’s gotten most of my days for the past, what, week and a half? It’s not like I’ve been doing much aside from being around him.”

“That, Sylvain, is something I cannot tell you. It is up to you to decide how best to manage a little distance.” As he speaks, Dimitri rises to his feet. “I’m afraid it’s time for me to attend to my duties for today. Please, let me know if I can help further.”

Dimitri gives a quick bow to Sylvain before turning away, cape swooshing behind him. Once Dimitri is out of earshot, Sylvain lets out a low groan. The light from the pond is growing more uncomfortable, suggesting it really is time to go. Though he isn’t sure what yet, Sylvain resolves to get something done today.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Of course, it just has to be her. She always complains about getting him out of trouble, but he can never recall asking her for it. Standing up with a huff, Felix brushes the dust from his pants. The sword lies ignored on the ground until Ingrid walks over and picks it up. She then clears her throat, and Felix rolls his eyes and holds out a hand. As soon as he feels the hilt in his grasp, Felix pulls the weapon to his side and waits for Ingrid to say something so he can shush her.

“No Sylvain today?” Felix is taken aback by the softness of Ingrid’s voice, almost enough to wish he was being scolded instead.

“No. What do you want?” Try as he might, Felix can’t entirely hide the disappointment in his voice.

“I want to know how you’re doing. I heard about yesterday and expected you’d be happy-“

“What? Who told you!” Felix cursed himself for the heat flushing his face and for so quickly admitting to the truth.

Ingrid couldn’t hold back a small giggle. “Well, when Ashe comes into the dining hall looking both shocked and excited, it certainly elicits some curiosity. He’s not very good at keeping things in.”

Felix growls, but the sound is without any real threat. He knew as soon as Ashe saw that kiss that the whole monastery would know within days. A singular day, however, was pathetic even for someone as loose-lipped as Ashe.

“As I was saying, I expected you two to waltz in for breakfast like a couple of lovebirds, not find you on the floor of the training grounds alone.”

“I’m just full of surprises.” This time, there was some bite.

Ingrid was having none of it. “Felix, do you have any idea how hard Sylvain is trying to keep it together to help you? He’s exhausted, physically and emotionally, but has he shown that to you at all?”

Felix wracks his brain for something to say, but he doesn’t get much time before Ingrid starts up again. “You haven’t, because he pushes it all down for your sake. Two days ago, when he was eating and you got up to go to the bathroom, he grabbed a cup of tea and downed it like he would die without the caffeine. All because he’s giving all his energy to help you.”

Felix’s mouth drops open for the briefest second before he regains some composure. “It’s not my fault he’s running himself ragged. I didn’t ask for it.”

Felix flinches at Ingrid’s tone this time. “Can’t you understand that’s the problem? You never ask for help! You leave everyone in the dark, and you get mad when we help and brood when we don’t. Sylvain has no damn idea what you want or need, and he will drive himself into the ground trying to figure it out.”

Felix is almost positive that’s the first time he’s ever heard Ingrid swear so bluntly. He makes to speak, but he finds his throat dry and emptied of words. He concludes the moisture of his throat must have moved when he feels his eyes betray him and a tear form in the corner of his eye.

He hears Ingrid begin walking out, and he calls for her before he can stop himself. “Ingrid, wait.”

Silence. Maybe she already left, but he needs to try anyway. He can’t stop himself, and he isn’t sure he should. “You got me, alright? How am I supposed to tell him what I need when I don’t even know myself?” Unfortunately, Felix’s voice cracks and a traitorous tear slips free.

Footsteps again, now coming closer. A comforting hand on his shoulder and the sword slips out of his fingers. Ingrid gently picks up the weapon again, using pressure on Felix’s arm to keep him with her as she returns the training sword to its place. Felix maintains silence throughout the process.

“You can’t tell him what you need if you don’t know. You’ve only just begun this new relationship of yours, but it may be best for you to take some time to figure this out. He’ll be ready to hear you out when you’re ready to speak up.” Ingrid’s confidence shines through her words, and she punctuates her statement with a squeeze on Felix’s shoulder before letting go.

Felix just nods, not trusting his voice, and vaguely wonders how Ingrid can change her tone so fast. Ingrid heads for the door again, having done enough for the day. As soon as the door closes behind her, Felix walks to it and slides a long plank of wood between the doors and their handles. With the doorway closed, Felix shuffles to one side and leans against the rough stone.

Taking a deep breath, Felix slides down the wall until he’s sitting. He pulls his knees in closer to himself and rests his forehead on his knees. With considerable effort, Felix lets his emotions loose in momentary privacy. Once he has permitted himself, Felix begins to sob quietly, wishing he could cry the magic out of his eyes and get things back to some semblance of normal. Little did he know; he was almost managing to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/el__ubert) ✨💕


	3. The Reconciliation

For both Sylvain and Felix, the next six days felt like they lasted forever. Neither of the Lions knew how to reopen the dialog between them, and the tension the silence was creating was nearing a breaking point. While Ingrid or Dimitri may have typically stepped in by now, the two had discussed their separate conversations and agreed they’d done enough this time. What happened next was up to those directly involved.

It didn’t help that Felix was starting to regain some of his vision. He was almost positive it was his mind playing cruel tricks on him, but it was getting far enough that Felix didn’t believe even he could be so cruel to himself. He’d contemplated going to Sylvain, but he was not sure where they stood and wasn’t ready to be the one to crack. He’d also considered Mercedes, but Felix wasn’t sure he was ready to get answers to his questions, especially without Sylvain’s unfortunately helpful support. He hadn’t even bothered considering anyone else, leaving him in his current predicament.

Sylvain had similarly been a mess. Where Felix had hardened up and kept to himself, Sylvain had been watching the swordsman like a hawk. While he did keep a distance, he was almost always aware of what Felix was up to. He was ready to jump in if anything happened, but instead, Sylvain observed Felix being steadier than he had been since the attack. It almost seemed like he could see what was going on, but Sylvain squashed that thought as quickly as he could. He dared not get his hopes up; after over two weeks, it was extremely unlikely.

This instead left the possibility that Felix was doing better without Sylvain’s fussing. Sylvain, in his emotionally delicate state, clung to that idea. He was tearing himself apart, wondering if he was helping or hurting Felix in the long run. He questioned his actions at the training grounds, his episode in Felix’s room, and the distance he was leaving now. It had been so long since he’d had anything close to a real relationship, he wasn’t sure he even knew how to have one anymore.

From a table down, Mercedes and Annette were watching the frantic redhead. His hair was disheveled, and the bags under his eyes indicated less than sufficient sleep. He hadn’t touched his breakfast, either. He had simply torn the bread into small pieces, picking at them as his eyes scanned the room every so often. His sagging shoulders suggested he was not finding what he was looking for.

“Come on Mercie, I can’t take this anymore! Can we at least ask him what happened?” Annette whined through a mouthful of pastry, earning a scolding look from Mercedes.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Annie. If they want to talk about it, they will.” Though both women meant well, they were becoming aware they were not going to see eye to eye on this matter.

“Do you really think Felix would do that? Maybe he needs a little push! Or Sylvain, he probably doesn’t want to admit he’s upset, and-“

“You heard what Ingrid and Dimitri said; Sylvain and Felix need to handle this like adults, themselves.”

“Do they even know how to do that?”

The question was honest, but Annette’s bluntness earned an unexpected laugh from Mercedes. The outburst drew Sylvain’s attention, and he just stared on wearily. Though she tried to brush it off, the worry and exhaustion on Sylvain’s face spoke to her healing heart. She was on her feet and standing beside him before she could really stop herself.

“Good morning, Sylvain! How are you feeling today?” Mercedes looked down warmly as she placed her plate down at the seat to Sylvain’s left, failing to notice that Annette had not followed her over.

Sylvain responded with a shrug, which got him pursed lips. A glance up made him change his mind regarding his answer. Mercedes was one of his more genuine friends at the monastery; he didn’t need to put her off, too, and her expression told him he’d do just that if he kept up being cold and quiet.

“I’m fine, been better. I haven’t been getting much rest.” Enough to satisfy, but hopefully not draw more questions.

“I see. Well, if you’re not resting enough, make sure you’re eating enough! You aren’t doing yourself any favors going hungry and tired.” Mercedes nodded firmly at Sylvain’s train wreck of a plate, and he sighed.

“I’m not hungry. I’m fine though, really. Just dealing with some-“ Sylvain started to put on some fake charm in an attempt to ward Mercedes off, even if he knew she’d see through it, but he was cut short by Felix being pushed into the seat across from him.

“A-Annie, what do you think you’re doing?” Mercedes’ eyes widened at the situation in front of her, and she’s sure she’d have dropped her plate if she hadn’t already put it down.

“This isn’t going anywhere; Mercie, when was the last time these two when six days without talking to each other? It’s madness! Someone needs to do something about it.” Annette huffed, perching her hands on her hips and giving her friend a pointed look.

“When was the last time Dimitri and Ingrid took a direct position on something like this and _told us_ to do the same?” Mercedes voice was still warm, but a bit testy as she countered Annette.

While the two women squared off over the new development, with Mercedes dragging Annette away to avoid further meddling, Felix and Sylvain sat in tense silence. Sylvain stared, and he was almost sure he could feel Felix staring back, but he shoved that thought away. After a moment, Felix let out a groan and brushed a hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t just walk away, so he let his tongue express his attitude instead.

“Decided I was too much of a problem now?” Sylvain visibly cringed at the question, but Felix kept his expression cool.

“You were never a burden, I just-“

“You felt bad? Your poor best friend can’t see anymore, so what else are you to do but take care of him? I don’t need your help, Sylvain. I don’t need a babysitter; I need my friend.”

Sylvain absorbed Felix’s words, and while they stung, he could recognize the truth they dripped with. He knew Felix was right, but he also knew not every moment had been like that. Not every moment had been as just friends, either, and that had been the best part. Struggling for the words, Sylvain fought to share that information.

“Felix, you know I don’t mean it like that.” Felix hated the way his hard exterior grew softer at just the tenderness in Sylvain’s voice.

“To be honest with you, it was an excuse. I had a damn good reason to be around you, but it didn’t have to be anything more than a friend caring for a friend. And then it was, and that was the happiest I’ve felt in so long and I don’t want to ignore that. I just don’t want to push you; I didn’t even know if you liked guys when I asked to kiss you, let alone if you liked me. But you did, or at least it felt like it, and then the very next morning we blew up and I just…” Sylvain trailed off into a heavy sigh.

“We’re both idiots.” Felix hissed, leaving Sylvain in stunned silence.

“We get in our own damn ways. Exactly as I said before, this is why it’s taken so long. Do you want to take the jump with me or not?” Felix leaned in close, testing, his breath mixing with Sylvain’s.

Sylvain hesitated only a second before taking a shaky breath and pressing his lips to Felix’s. Felix added more pressure of his own, and they stayed there for a few seconds before separating with shaking hands.

“We’re really doing this…?” Sylvain for once sounded like the shocked and uncertain one.

The half-question was met with a nod. “Yes. Somehow, I found myself quite attached to a fool like you.” Felix tried to be sharp, but Sylvain could dig up the nervousness and happiness layered under the thinning cold shell.

“This fool is more than ready to try out being yours.” Sylvain found his footing again, a little more confidence in his voice this time, and Felix scoffed.

Silence fell over the table again, and the rest of the dining hall had almost cleared out, given how late into the morning it was. Felix was glad for the change, because it made what he was about to do a little easier to keep under wraps. He wasn’t sure if having the whole monastery hear him right now would do anyone any good.

“I’m… starting to see again, a little bit. Before you ask, I am not kidding.” Felix felt Sylvain stiffen next to him, some of the magic of the last conversation fading.

“What… what do you mean? See what?” More hope flickered in Sylvain’s voice, restrained but trying its hardest to pour out.

“It’s not much,” Felix clarified, “but I can see big-picture things. Shapes, big movements, colors. My left eye is better than my right. I noticed it four days ago, but I thought I was tricking myself. I’m not so sure of that anymore, though.”

Sylvain just stared dumbfoundedly at Felix, but he noted that the purple bits in the swordsman’s eyes seemed to have been diminished since he’d last gotten a good look at them nearly a week ago. He hummed as he considered the development.

“What?” Felix was no longer snapping at him, instead coming off as confused and a little concerned.

“Well, your eyes are less purple. Has Mercedes been working on them?” Sylvain sat back up a bit, creating a more comfortable space to talk.

“No. I haven’t been doing anything to them.” His voice was a little too sharp, and Felix realized his mistake when he saw Sylvain tilt his head.

“But then why would they…” Sylvain muttered, “What would’ve changed? If it was residual magic, it should have faded out after a few days…”

Sylvain scratched his head, literally, and Felix rolled his eyes at the goofy gesture. After doing what he could to see if anyone else was in the dining hall, he made the rare decision to be open with Sylvain about what had led to the change.

“I’ve been… crying sometimes, okay? It’s no big deal, but it started getting better after I let myself have a moment. I don’t plan to make it a habit, though, so there better be another way to keep the progress up without me being a baby.” Though Felix was turned away, Sylvain could see traitorous pink on his cheeks.

The redhead knew better than to keep pushing the subject. “I see. Well, you should probably have Mercedes take a look at your eyes anyway. Probably don’t need to give her all the details, though.” Sylvain walked a careful line between teasing and encouraging, and Felix’s narrowing eyes confirm he managed to strike a good balance.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After Sylvain actually finished his meal and Felix stopped being so worked up, the duo decided to go talk to Mercedes. She’d probably be relieved to see they had actually managed to make a meaningful conversation out of Annette’s coercion. They set off for the cathedral and were unsurprised to see Mercedes was cleaning up some more of the rubble around the pews. Ashe and Annette were also around in different areas to clean up, simply waving at the pair as they approached Mercedes.

“Ashe, if you need another break- Oh! Hello you two! How are you doing?” Mercedes’ eyes flickered between the two, soon noticing their interlocked hands. With an easier smile, she met Sylvain’s eyes.

“Fine. I need you to look at my eyes again.” Felix cut right through the small talk, looking at Mercedes.

Mercedes met his eyes and noticed almost right away the same changes that Sylvain had. Beyond the lack of purple, though, she also noticed an almost cloudy greyness overlaying his usual amber color. She had a suspicion of what was happening, but she wanted to get some more information before she diagnosed.

“Do you want to go somewhere else? I just have a few questions.”

“I don’t care. Let’s just talk here.” Felix squeezed Sylvain’s hand and felt an encouraging squeeze back.

Mercedes nodded, brushing her hands off on her skirt. “Alright. In that case, can you tell me what’s changed and when it started?”

“I can see shapes, colors, and big movements. It started changing in the past week. Sylvain said he doesn’t see much purple in my eyes, but I still can’t see normally again. What do I have to do to keep this up?” Felix released Sylvain’s hand to cross his arms over his chest.

“Hmm…” Mercedes stepped closer, and quickly confirmed her earlier assessment about the state of Felix’s eyes. “I don’t think it will get much better, Felix. All the purple I could see is gone, but it did leave some permanent damage.”

Felix huffed out of his nose, but Sylvain cut in. “Hey, don’t be like that. Isn’t it enough to see at least a little bit?”

Felix remained quiet but conceded. Mercedes, on the other hand, carried on. “I’ll need to do some more research on the condition, but I’m almost certain it won’t regress. Just take care to avoid bright light or anything irritating until I learn a little more.”

Felix nodded. “Alright. Thank you for your help.”

With that, Felix turned away, grabbed Sylvain’s hand, and tugged the taller man along behind him. Sylvain flashed Mercedes a grin and threw a thumbs up at Ashe and Annette as he walked by, and it wasn’t long before they ended up in Felix’s room. Felix quickly flopped onto his bed despite it being early afternoon, but Sylvain happily followed suit.

They settled down into a comfortable silence, recovering from the emotionally stressful morning. Sylvain soon fell asleep, and it was only in the peaceful stillness of the moment that Felix really noticed how disheveled Sylvain was. Even as he napped with breakfast in his stomach, the slight paleness in his face indicated that he really hadn’t been eating well and his wild hair implied a lapse of hygiene. Felix felt a twinge of guilt knowing his distance from Sylvain caused his current state.

Shaking his head lightly, Felix closed his own eyes. They’d been causing him more trouble than they were worth, but he supposed he could forgive them for it. They really had been the catalyst for the change in him and Sylvain’s relationship. He wished it hadn’t taken something so intense to push them, but he couldn’t change what had already happened.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Felix was stirred out of his thinking and relaxing after about a half an hour by Sylvain shifting in his sleep. The taller man subconsciously pulled Felix closer to him, nuzzling into the warmth. Felix blushed and made a flustered choking sound, which woke Sylvain up. The two stared at one another, and Sylvain nearly melted when Felix smiled at him softly.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Felix taunted, making Sylvain chuckle.

Sylvain leaned in and pecked Felix on the cheek. “Why thank you. You’re a nice sight to wake up to.”

Felix opened and closed his mouth, trying and failing to come up with a response. This only made Sylvain chuckle more, but the moment was cut off by a gentle knock at the door.

“Hello?” Mercedes called through the door.

Sylvain looked to Felix, letting him decide what to do. Felix nodded to him before rolling onto his side and calling out, “Come in.”

Mercedes opened the door slowly, stepping inside cautiously and looked surprised when she saw Sylvain on his side behind Felix. “Hi Sylvain, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Sylvain smirked. “I’m guessing it’ll become a more regular occurrence, just so you know.”

Felix just scoffed and rolled his eyes before fixing his attention back on Mercedes, who thankfully kept pressing on.

“I poked around the library a bit, and I think I know what’s going on with your eyes. It usually happens with older people, but it can happen after severe injury, too. It’s like scarring on your eyes, which is why your vision is fuzzy and probably a bit dull. There isn’t much we can do to make it better, but it also won’t get worse. It’s a very stable condition after the initial damage is cleared out, which were the purple flecks in your case.”

Felix and Sylvain took a second to absorb the update, and to everyone’s surprise, Felix let out a small laugh. “That works for me. It’s easier to fight things I can see.”

Sylvain smiled at Felix’s persistent fighting spirit, and Mercedes seemed pleased with the response as well. “I’m sure it is! Well, I’ll leave you two be. I’m always around if you have any questions for me.” With that, Mercedes bowed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

“Well, I guess that’s that. Feeling a little better?” Sylvain rolled from his side onto his back.

Rather than try and keep finding words, Felix leaned over and gave Sylvain a kiss. The gesture took Sylvain by surprise, but it only took a split second for him to kiss back. They stayed like that for a few moments before pulling away for air. Felix rested his forehead against Sylvain’s, and Sylvain slipped an arm around Felix’s waist.

“Not bad for how little practice you’ve had.” Sylvain’s snide response earned him a firm punch on the arm, but both of them dissolved into laughter almost right away.

Felix settled back down with his head on Sylvain’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. He felt the rise and fall of Sylvain’s chest and was more at ease than he had been since the last time he and Sylvain spent time like this. Though both of them knew dinner time was approaching, neither made any move to get up. The peace and quiet of their little world beat any meal the dining hall could have to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tooth rotting fluff after a little time jump on the way to wrap this little canon divergence up!
> 
> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/el__ubert) ✨💕


	4. The Fluff

_ **One year later.** _

The quiet of the crisp morning was disturbed by the crunching of hooves and wheels on drying grass. With impeccable timing, one of the horses pulling the carriage let out a whinny as a wooden door rose, offering entrance into a large, fortified structure. Guards glanced over the carriage, deeming that it was no threat. They’d seen it many times before, and no doubt would see it many more times.

As the carriage made for the stable, one of the guards entered the living area of the stronghold. Up a set of stairs and down a hallway, the guard faced an ornate door. Clearing his throat, he knocked.

After a second, the door cracked open a few inches. “Yes?”

“Your guest has arrived, Margrave Gautier. His carriage is at the stables.” The guard ended his report with a quick bow.

He was startled when Sylvain threw the door open, revealing some of his finer clothes, his hair carefully styled and a splitting grin on his face. “Oh, Felix! Thank you for letting me know!” Sylvain called his thanks behind him as he made haste down the hall, leaving the guard to chuckle and close the door.

Sylvain made it to the stables in record time, stomping obnoxiously as he walked into the hallway separating the stall rows. “Felix?”

Felix poked his head out of a stall, a horse’s head poking out after. “Took you long enough to get down here.” The words had all of Felix’s usual bite, but he was already letting himself out of the stall and dropping the brush he’d been holding by the time he finished speaking.

They walked towards one another and met in the middle, wasting no time in bringing their lips together into a kiss. Though Sylvain usually took charge in their kisses, he let Felix lead so he could soak in the enthusiasm. What Felix wasn’t letting show in words, he always let shine through physical gestures.

It had been a month since they’d last seen each other, since Sylvain couldn’t make his usual trip due to a nasty run in at the border with Sreng. The conflict had been dealt with, but they agreed it was close enough to Felix’s trip that they could wait. Felix wasn’t going to let him off the hook for the delay that easily though. Especially not when Sylvain lead right into it.

“It’s been way, way too long…” Sylvain whispered, pulling away and resting his forehead against Felix’s.

“It has. You could’ve done something about that.” His tone was sharp as his blade, but the ghost of a smile on his lips told Sylvain not to let it cut the same.

“I’ll be make it up to you. I promise.” Sylvain leaned over to whisper in Felix’s ear, making him shudder.

Felix put his hands onto Sylvain’s chest to push him away, but they betrayed his intent and instead rested on it. Sylvain grabbed Felix’s wrists, pulling them off his chest and sliding his hands down to lace their fingers together as he righted himself.

“Felix, patience! Can’t we get to my room first?” Even though Felix couldn’t see Sylvain’s wink, he knew enough about that tone to know he had and gave him a gentle punch on the shoulder.

Before Felix could respond, he was swept off the ground. He blushed when he realized Sylvain had picked him up bridal style. He opened his mouth to tell Sylvain his legs worked, but decided against it. He was satisfied with the current transportation arrangement.

“No comment?” The surprise in Sylvain’s voice was honest enough that it made Felix snort.

“Would you rather I tell you off?”

The question was met by purposeful silence, aside from Sylvain’s steps crunching gravel.

“Exactly.”

Sylvain shrugged, accidentally knocking the top of Felix’s head into his chin. Both made a disgruntled sound at the hit.

Felix just rolled his eyes as Sylvain made his way back up to his quarters. Felix wondered what his boyfriend had planned, since they usually went to the dining hall or training grounds first. He opted to play along and see where his idiot was taking this. The silence was comfortable as they stopped in front of Sylvain’s door.

“Could you get the handle? My hands are busy with precious cargo.”

Felix reached out and twisted the knob, giving the door a shove. Sylvain stepped inside, careful to avoid bumping Felix. He kicked the door shut behind him and walked over to his bed, making Felix fight even harder to keep his already pink cheeks from turning deep red. Sylvain unceremoniously dumped Felix onto the mattress, laughing when the other one let out a surprised squeak.

“What the hell was that for?” Felix snapped.

“I’m impatient and my arms were tired,” Sylvain muttered as he laid himself down next to where Felix was sprawled, pressing his front to Felix’s back. Though irritation radiated from Felix, he pressed himself back into Sylvain. He couldn’t resist his favorite way to cuddle.

They laid there quietly for a while, the sounds of the courtyard drifting through the window. Armor clanking, hooves clopping, birds signing. This had more or less been their routine for a year now; after Felix’s condition stabilized, the group dispersed from the monastery and took up residence in their respective territories.

After Dimitri ascended the throne, Dedue resigned from Dimitri’s service to return to Duscur and mend its relationship with the Kingdom, while Ingrid stepped in to take his position in the royal guard as a recognized knight. Mercedes and Annette moved to Fhirdiad and opened a bakery, which was frequented by Ashe, who was successfully overseeing Castle Gaspard.

Sylvain and Felix had also taken up their respective titles, but they put forth great effort to maintain the relationship they established shortly before leaving Garreg Mach. They took turns travelling between their territories, roughly every two weeks. It was enough to keep them sane but gave them time at home to do their jobs. Though the time apart was hard, they had adjusted to maximizing the days they got together.

Sylvain was pulled from his dazed but content stare at the wall by Felix rolling around to face him. Felix pressed his face into Sylvain’s chest, a rare expression of utter peace on his face. “Goddess, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sylvain kissed Felix’s hair, giving him a gentle squeeze. However, he stiffened when Felix’s nuzzled closer, nose near Sylvain’s breast pocket.

Sensing Sylvain’s nervousness, Felix glanced up, his cheek even closer to the small bump showing through the fabric. “Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah!” Sylvain declared, a complete absence of confidence.

Felix raised an eyebrow, staring Sylvain down. This didn’t help Sylvain’s nerves, and he crumbled under the gaze. “Alright, no. I’m nervous about something, but I can’t tell you what it is.”

“Seriously, you can’t tell me?”

“Right. I can’t.”

This was met with a heavy sigh. “We aren’t kids, Sylvain. Keeping secrets is for kids who don’t know better.”

“But this involves you.”

“Isn’t that all the more reason to tell me?”

Sylvain hugged, running a hand through his hair. “Just trust me, okay?”

Felix didn’t push any further, for now. He was enjoying the moment, and knew that pressing would ruin it. He realized he’d already lost it with how tense Sylvain stayed. When several minutes passed and Sylvain still appeared worked up, Felix decided he needed to try something else.

“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be here.” Rather than be comforting, Felix opted to be blunt.

“I know,” Sylvain said carefully, waiting for Felix to continue.

“I just don’t like the idea of you keeping things from me.” Felix choked down the urge to close up, knowing Sylvain needed to see his vulnerability.

“I would never do that. Just… this is different, okay? It won’t be a secret too long. It isn’t even a secret, really. It’s a surprise.” Sylvain looked down at Felix, curious if his reframing would help. It did not.

“That’s just a nicer way to tell someone you’re keeping a secret,” Felix reasoned, but he realized as soon as he saw Sylvain’s face that he should have been gentler.

“Fine!” Sylvain shot up, getting onto his knees on the ground next to the bed.

Sitting up and scooting to sit on the edge of the bed, Felix looked at Sylvain. “What are you doing?”

Sylvain fumbled with his breast pocket, producing a plain gold band between shaky fingers. He dropped it, muttered a curse, and re-presented it to Felix. “This was what I was nervous about.”

“A ring?” Felix asked blankly, unsure if he’d correctly identified what the shiny blob he could see was. Sylvain nodded.

“Well? What do you say?” Sylvain looked up at Felix with glittering eyes while the latter’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“It’s… nice?” Felix said, making Sylvain’s face fall.

“A-Ah. Okay. I knew this was the wrong time. That’s what I get for cracking, I guess.” Sylvain looked down at the ground, scratching the back of his neck.

“What was I supposed to say?” Felix huffed, putting his hands on his hips despite the fact he was still sitting.

“When someone proposes to you, you typically say yes. It’s my fault. That was terrible.” Sylvain laughed, looking back up at Felix.

Felix narrowed his eyes. “That was supposed to be a proposal?”

“Well, I was going to do it later over dinner, but you were about to feel it through my pocket, and you were making me nervous. I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about what the secret was.”

Felix wasn’t sure what to say next, so he just put out the thought that was closest to his tongue at the instant he chose to speak. “You know you’re supposed to be on one knee, don’t you?”

“I… yes. Yes I did,” Sylvain confessed, embarrassed at his misstep. That was arguably the simplest thing to do, and he still managed to forget it.

Felix made a ‘tsk’ sound as he slid down onto the floor in front of Sylvain. His face was a splotchy red, and his eyes were anywhere but Felix’s face. Felix grabbed Sylvain’s chin and made him look at him.

“I am engaged to an idiot.” He spoke slowly to be sure Sylvain got it and kissed him to solidify what he said even further.

Sylvain stayed frozen for several seconds before he started to kiss back. But when he did, it was one of the most passionate kisses they’d ever shared. Sylvain tangled his fingers in Felix’s hair, and Felix’s hand moved from Sylvain’s chin to the back of his neck. They kissed like this for several minutes before the need for air pushed them apart.

“You really had me fooled, you know,” Sylvain whispered.

“In my defense, I had no idea what you were doing.”

Sylvain laughed, and the infectious sound made Felix laugh as well. “I really blew that, didn’t I?”

Felix nodded, occasional chuckles still passing his lips. Sylvain had settled down, however, and looked at Felix affectionately. “I guess I’ll have to do it over another time.”

The statement made Felix pause. “Is that so?”

Sylvain smirked, looking about as focused as he’s capable of. “I can do better. Will you let me give you a proposal that’s worthy of you?”

At the slick compliment, Felix blushed and looked off to the side. “Whatever, I know you want to.”

Sylvain’s smirk grew into a grin as he gave Felix another peck on the lips and nuzzled into his neck. “I promise I won’t goof up next time.”

Sylvain pressed a kiss to Felix’s neck, sighing in contentment as he returned the ring to his pocket for later. Felix played with Sylvain’s hair, letting his eyes fall closed and head lean against the bed as he enjoyed the company of his best friend, first and only love, and now, his fiancé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering writing the proposal redo or an epilogue of the rest of the Blue Lions reacting to the news, let me know if you'd be interested in reading either of those!
> 
> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/el__ubert) ✨💕

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/el__ubert) ✨💕


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